Yikes. I can see the dust collecting on my Tumblr. My sincerest apologies folks. Life has been a whirlwind since 2012 started. I have been super busy and super tired, but I know it will all be worth it. I just simply CAN NOT believe Spring Break is next week, meaning this semester is half way over. UMM. Where did the time go? Anywho, the reason I am writing this post is because a sermon from last Sunday sparked my spiritual interest. 

A question was asked. What’s your dream? Are you living each day like its your last, or are you living it as if you have a purpose for tomorrow? 

Whoa. *smack to the brain*. You know this whole term going around now, YOLO (you only live once). After hearing those questions in the sermon, it got me thinking. That phrase isn’t as new as I thought. Remember when apostle Paul said “Let us eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow we die.” (1 Corin 15.32)… well, it’s kind of the same concept. The sermon, in a nutshell, was about finding your purpose and not just living each day like it’s your last… it was about being hard workers, strong believers, and spirited dreamers. God has designed unique plans for each and everyone of us.. and yes we should love and appreciate everyone today like it might be their last day…and yes He does want us to be merry… but He wants us to pursue our purpose.. … and if we don’t, then it will be given to someone else who can.  We are such fickle people. Never knowing what we want. 

So. What’s my dream? Well, you can start my looking at my Pinterest board called For My Dream.. it’s kind of obvious. I want to open and run my own preschool one day. Early childhood development is one of the most fascinating topics to me. I could sit online all night, blog-hopping from one blog to the next learning about different early childhood techniques, ideas, and theories. I want to have a wonderful husband.. amazing children… a cozy home.. ya know, the whole shebang. Now, how to reach this dream? Prayer. Passion. Faith. Humbleness. Strength. Determination. Patience. But most importantly, God. 

I am physically and mentally exhausted; however, I know one day.. I will look back at all this and be so glad that I gave it my all.  So far I have all A’s and I passed the Praxis II this past Monday with a 175 (for those of you who have no idea what the Praxis II is.. Go watch Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader.. multiply the questions’ difficulty levels by 5 and then select random facts from any topic and place them into 4 different categories- English, Social Studies, Math, and Science.. and there you have it, the Praxis II). I could not have done any of this without God, and prayer. 

There is a band called Jenny + Tyler (go check them out now)… they have this song called Faint Not. I absolutely love the chorus “O my soul, faint not. No, faint not. O my soul, keep on.. in love.” It has been motivation for me the last couple of weeks to not give up. Each blunder, mess up, problem, or failure is just an obstacle in the way towards the next step of reaching my purpose and I can’t let those get in the way. 

Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint. (Isaiah 40:30-31 ESV)

I absolutely love when my email inbox floods with Spring catalogs from my favorite websites/brands. Here’s a few of my favorite so far:

31 Bits:

Chasing Daylight from 31 Bits on Vimeo.

Shop Ruche:

Safe & Sound Music Video

love the civil wars. the hunger games. this music video. perfection.

(Source: ohsoswiftly, via tswift)

“When the pieces seem to shatter,
To gather off the floor.

And all that really matters
Is I can’t feel You anymore.
No, I can’t feel You anymore.

I need a reason to sing.
I need a reason to sing.
I need to know that You’re still holding
the whole world in Your hands.
I need a reason to sing.

When I’m overcome by fear
And I hate everything I know.
If this waiting lasts forever
I’m afraid I might let go.”

Title: Reason to Sing

Artist: All Sons and Daughters

Bitterness will corrupt your heart,

it creeps into your life,

slowly tearing you apart. 

An ounce or twenty, it doesn’t matter.

It only takes a little,

to make your trust shatter.

Like a seed planted in soil,

bitterness grows inside you,

water it with your past,

and like the sun, let the rays of hurt shine on you.

Watch as the poisonous plant begins to grow.

Be careful, because you see my friend,

the seed’s disguised by pain and revenge.

So let your heart forgive and love,

and let your life move on.

Don’t plant the bitter seed,

that’s often so well-hidden.

-Ashley Graham

“Keep a sharp eye out for weeds of bitter discontent. A thistle or two gone to seed can ruin a whole garden in no time.”- Hebrews 12:15 [MSG]

Growing up a Southern Baptist kid, I have a special appreciation for old hymns, or hymns in general. The one that has my heart the most right now is “It is well with my soul”. So much wisdom, peace, joy, and direction can be found in an old hymnal. Not to weaken the power of modern, Christian music or God’s word, just simply stating my appreciation for the simpleness + realness found in the pages of old hymnals. On my next thrift store adventure, I am determined to find some. 

When peace, like a river, attendeth my way, When sorrows like sea billows roll; Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say, It is well, it is well, with my soul.

It is well, with my soul,
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come, Let this blest assurance control, That Christ has regarded my helpless estate, And hath shed His own blood for my soul.

It is well, with my soul,
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought! My sin, not in part but the whole,
Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more, Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.
And Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight, The clouds be rolled back as a scroll; The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend, Even so, it is well with my soul.

How wonderful is it that even when the devil buffets, or strikes us repeatedly,  with troubles.. when we continually sin.. when are hearts and minds are troubled.. when worry and stress fill our days….  God shows us His gloriousness in the least expected places, through the least expected people. He comforts us and shows us that it is well with our souls, because blood was shed for us and our messiness. Only True Love like that can provide one with such a peaceful soul, and for that I am eternally grateful. 

“Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.” John 14:27

Well, it is finally here. The sweet end of 2011 & the beginning of 2012. This past year has been incredible- no longer a teenager, turned 20- changed majors to education, which I love- two meaningful tattoos- traveled to Venezuela to spread His love-  drawn closer to family + friends-  began my first year in the school of ACTS at my church- found my passion + began chasing after my dream- attended all of my favorite bands’ shows- laughed until it hurt- loved until it hurt- lived with purpose. Sure, there were some downs but I’ve embraced them with an accepting heart. The negatives in life are what truly make the positives shine the way they do. I’m sitting here on New Years Eve looking at all the pictures I’ve taken through-out the year. Wow is all I can say..blessed, grateful, happy-heart, and more. The people in my life are wonderful + I would not trade them for anything in the world. Here’s a few of my favorite glimpses, picture style, of my past year. 

[Nights at TCR’s Coffee House. -January-]

[The Civil Wars, enough said. -February-]

[Venezuela stole my heart. -March-]

[Nights in the Birmingham with friends. -April-]

[The start to a wonderful summer, Railroad Park. -May-]

[Relaxing trips to the lake. -June-]

[New ink + one more year older. -July-]

[Beautiful beach trip. -August-]

[A couple of dates with this handsome fella. -September-]

[Plenty of nights filled with a fire + friends. -October-]

[Assisted my favorite band in Tuscaloosa, Al. -November-]

[Too many pictures worth being placed here. -December-]

*sigh*. I am ready to see what 2012 has in store for me, great things I know because He holds the future. Instead of jumping on the New Years Resolution bandwagon, I’m gonna keep it simple. 

+Stay positive.

+Worry less.

+Push myself. 

I wish everyone a wonderful New Year :). I hope it’s filled with love, family, friends, and merriment!

Take care and much love, Ash

“I do not worry of Your existence, or concern myself with the labels, definitions and standards of this world. I am in constant preparation, in the sweetness of Your making- And it is there that You will search me, You will know me, and You will find me. There, where the boldness of Esther meets the warm closeness of Ruth, and the hospitality of Lydia is aligned with the submission of Mary, which is engulfed in the tears of a praying Hanna. I will be the one, drenched in Proverbs 31… Waiting for You, and within You- him”

I am left speechless after watching this video. This young woman has been given a talent from God to write beautiful poems on the struggles of Christian womanhood. The topic of a Proverbs 31 woman seems to be spreading like wildfire lately but can be a misleading one; a lot of people think that the verses in Proverbs 31 mean a woman is nothing more than a glorified maid.  However, that is not the standards God aspired you to be. As a Christian woman, my heart hurts for those woman who do not understand what God is telling them. The ones who do not understand that they are beautiful and worth far more than diamonds.

 ”A good woman is hard to find, and worth far more than diamonds.” Proverbs 31.10

So many girls rely on things of this world to make them complete: clothes, relationships, etc. I’m preaching to myself on this one too. We convince ourselves that something is a part of God’s plan, when deep down inside we know it isn’t… we are just afraid of waiting, or afraid of not being liked, or heaven forbid- afraid of being alone. We create this unrealistic idea of what a woman should be. All I desire to be is not just a Proverbs 31 woman, but I find inspiration in women from other parts of the bible. I want to be loyal and humble like Ruth, determined and bold like Esther, faithful like Hannah, hospitable like Lydia, joyous and nurturing like Sarah, and courageous like Mary. So, I will wait for you. But while I’m waiting… I won’t sit and weep at home in my loneliness. Or find other things of this world to make me happy or fill this void. Oh goodness no. Yahweh, I will be praying to You. I will be changing and forming myself to be more like the woman of God You desire me to be. So many girls today focus on finding a husband, when instead they should be focused on making themselves more like a good wife. 

So, patiently, I will pray for those other women, the ones struggling to live in faith and trust, including myself. I will humble myself to live by Your standards, not the world’s. I will find my strength in You and You alone- becoming a strong woman like those in the bible.

Because, guys, if you were a man going out to fight the good fight of faith, doesn’t that sound like someone you would want fighting on your side? So, patiently, I will wait for you. 

Much love,

Ashley